Weezer – Hurley

Hurley, Weezer’s first album on their new label Epitaph, is not a very good album. In fact, it is a bad album; a very, very poorly-written, haphazardly sequenced, and slight package that has no highlight or peak. It has been a while since I’ve heard an album by a band that lacks any type of saving grace or positive moments, but Hurley is completely devoid of anything enjoyable. Even Weezer’s worst albums have highlights: Make Believe had “This Is Such A Pity”, Red Album had a pretty good first three songs, and Raditude had a couple wafer-thin sugar crusts that made it slightly bearable.

We don’t need to go into Weezer’s heyday, after all, I’ve already done it before. Not that I needed to, with those two albums being almost universally-loved by any indie fan that hasn’t been jaded into a coma by everything Weezer have done after 1996. In fact, after Hurley, I wasn’t aware if those albums still were any good; maybe nostalgia was blinding me and it turns out the only thing different about Weezer is about a decade and a bassist. After listening to Blue Album and Pinkerton again for the first time in years and even giving the Rentals’ debut a spin for old time sake, it turns out that Hurley is actually just bad. It’s not a disappointment, it’s a piece of shit.

The lyrics are possibly the biggest problem that the album has, which is saying something. They’re moronic, annoying, tepid, and a lot of other bad words. What album would have the audacity to make a pun about the similarity between the words “sex” and “socks”, placing the punchline at the end of an already interminable song for maximum annoyance. Not only are the lyrics just stupid, they’re rehashed from other songs on the same goddamn album. I can count three times that Cuomo recounts a story about a hard-working man; not even Springsteen would be so callow.

Instrumentally, the album is sugary to a toxic amount and does little to differentiate itself from any other half-assed pop-punk group and has even less mindless hooks. In fact, hooks of any kind are almost totally null if not completely absent, lyrical or otherwise. I don’t even have to go onto a song-by-song rant because they all sound suspiciously similar. The verses are boring and usually based around the same chords repeated ad nauseum or palm-muted into the dirt and the choruses are over-wrought and mindless.

I can’t even go on, the problems are so obvious with this album that recounting any experience with this album is useless. It is a bad album, a very, very bad album. If you thought Rebirth was going to be the worst we saw this year (almost forgot about it, didn’t you?), you may just be wrong. Hurley is a fucking mess, a glossy, over-blown embarresment from a band that seriously just needs to either stop or invent a time machine and strangle themselves before they could even utter the word “hashpipe”.

by Trevor “Too mad to write anything clever” Johnson

1 Comment

  1. 11/10/10: New Review…*sob* « Avery Island: Musical Opinions From Music Geeks said,

    […] Weezer – Hurley review by Trevor Johnson […]

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