Worst Albums of 2010

Now that we’ve talked about some of the bests, lets talk about the absolute worsts: what was the worst album that we actually listened to last year? Now of course, this excises obvious radio fodder and teen pop non-sense since, well, we don’t listen to it (and for good reason). So these are the top five worst albums from 2010 that we had the indignity to listen to.

05. Minus the Bear – Omni

I think the bit that makes this album the hardest to swallow is the thought that Minus the Bear were oh-so-close to hitting that sweet spot on their last excursion Planet of Ice. Yet they decided they would withdraw the aspects that made them most compelling in the first place, their mathematical beats and progressive guitar lines, in favor of some malformed pop tracks overinflated by the band’s self-confidence in their own lucid stories about blowjobs and drug abuse. Compare “Knights” to “In the Mirror” and prepare to cry.

04. Interpol – Interpol

Paul Banks once wrote songs where the broad strokes painted vivid pictures: “And you go stabbing, yourself in, the neck.” He breathed lines of quiet viscera and cooed the city streets. Now he sings in a constant, emotionless shrill while his band wraps around him in exercises in excess. Interpol isn’t just bad, it’s heart-breaking.

03. Jaguar Love – Hologram Jams

Candy pop and hardcore punk are two of the most anachronistic genres I can think of off the top of my head, both aesthetically and ideologically. So whatever led the Blood Brothers and Pretty Girls Make Graves to think this transition from the latter to the former would be a good idea is probably similar to whatever led your pothead roommate to think ice cream and ketchup would make a great dessert. And when that chorus of “I Started a Fire” hits you, it’s just as appetizing.

02. Weezer – Hurley

Sure, it sports one ridiculously great album cover (ironic or not, it’s fun to look at), but thats where the enjoyment of Hurley ends. The Weezer we all knew and loved has been gone for a good 14 years now. What we have left are a bunch of 40-year-olds trying desperately to make pop music for 15-year-olds. Unfortunately, they also sound in the same way you’d imagine 15-year-olds would if they made music: tepid, vacuous, and just plain horrible.

01. Lil Wayne – Rebirth

For some reason, I think if he’d simply just released No Ceilings and ignored the urge to produce a “rock” album, I think he could have avoided a prison sentence. He once claimed that he’d “rather be pushing flowers/then be stuck in the pin sharing showers.” For my money’s worth, I’d say the judge heard Rebirth and it’s intelligence-insulting nu-metalisms and never thought twice. Guilty, we saw!